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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23494048">Confession</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/rxznzeno/pseuds/rxznzeno'>rxznzeno</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Original Work</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Confession, Figurative Language, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Metaphors, Original Character(s), Original Fiction, Rejection</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 09:46:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,195</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23494048</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/rxznzeno/pseuds/rxznzeno</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jay expected this. He never wanted it to last this long so he needs to end it when it starts.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Confession</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>That night was warm. Jay inserted some coins and pressed on the cold chocolate drink button. As he retrieved his drink, he repeats the same action but now, he pressed on the melon drink, for his company. He begins his walk from the building to his destination.<br/>
He looked around the campus, there are a few groups of friends laughing, a couple bickering and an oblivious boy talking to a nervous girl. He pays no mind. The campus is just his place of learning, that’s all.</p><p>He made his way to a group of buskers. Guitar and keyboard at ready and the vocals filled the air as they play an overrated, but still a nice song. Surrounding people join to hum together and Jay finds himself unconsciously hummed to the melodies too. Nothing beats the old classic Frank Sinatra.<br/>
His hands are cold by the cans of drinks that he is holding firm. His long slender fingers concealed the cans perfectly. Drops of condensation seems to wet his hands but that doesn’t matter to him. He keeps walking.</p><p>At a bench far away from the campus' main buildings, Jay spotted a familiar face. A boy, same age as him, sitting and fanning his face with his hands. He is wearing glasses and donned in his usual style. ‘Typical of him’ thought Jay.<br/>
Jay reached out his hands and gave the boy the melon drink he bought with his own money. The boy seems confused but gladly take it anyway. Jay sat beside him at the edge of the bench, creating the biggest gap you could make while sitting on that bench.</p><p>“It’s warm tonight,” Jay said as he felt the sweat trickles down his back, soaking the shirt inside his hoodie. He started to regret his choice of clothing but that’s all he likes to wear. A gift from his sister that rarely give gifts will always be appreciated.<br/>
“Yeah, why do you want to talk to me in this warm night? I rather be in my room where its all cool,” the boy complains. Jay plays with the can in his hands, unopened. He let out a sigh and look at the field in front of him, staying away from eye contact as much as possible.<br/>
“Warm nights reminded me of you,” he confessed.</p><p>The other boy is now more confused. “What?” His eyes pierced Jay's cheek. He leaned back on the bench and take a breath.<br/>
“I like the nights. The after day. It is very cool and solemn. I like it that way. But warm nights like this make me feel some type of new feelings. Restlessness? Foreign? Alien? It almost destroys my essence in a sense, since I the nights I know are much colder,” Jay started his revelation.<br/>
“But that doesn’t make me feel less appreciated towards it. I tried to ignore the fact that I secretly likes it. I even covered it up with purposely saying that I like colder nights because this new alien feeling was killing me. It reminds me of day so much,” the boy is getting more interested in Jay's words.</p><p>He continues, “I hate day. People works a lot and always feel the need to smile. The sun is too hot that it could scorch my skin to the bones. I hate that type of way. But this night makes me realised, heat can bring comfort too. Although it is torturing me and it reminds me of something I truly hate, I still like it. Because that is what my heart says,” Jay stopped for a while and looked at the boy straight to his eyes.</p><p>“You are my warm night. I like you even though it is foreign to me. I like you even though I thought that I like colder nights. I like you even though it reminds me of something that I hate. I like you even though you destroy me,” Jay finally confessed. </p><p>The other boy was stunned. His mouth hangs open and awkward silence ensues. The boy cleared his throat and look away to the surrounding. Jay put aside his can of chocolate drink and plays with his fingers, anxious.<br/>
“You shouldn’t like me. I should not be your poetic muse. I should not be your lover,” he trails off the last word.</p><p>“I have always liked flowers. Flowers and flowers only. Never had an eye on a star with galaxy heart like you,” he finally confessed his rejection.<br/>
Jay immediately grips the boy's wrists, with a louder voice he said, “Then hate me! Hate me so I can stop liking you. I can like cold nights after this. I will hate warm nights after this!” he begged. His glassy eyes reflect the moonlight. The boy let go of the grip softly and hold Jay's hands.</p><p>“No, please don’t. You are beautiful as it is. Don’t change because of me. You will find a better boy than me, I promise,” Jay's tears finally escape his eyes. The boy continues, “The night is indeed warm but I don’t mind holding hands with you. To accompany your empty hands is the least I can do,” the boy smiled.<br/>
“Can I hug you?” Jay asked. The boy nodded and their ribs clash. Jay grip on the boy tight. He wants this to stay. He wants to hear his heart forever. He wants these touches to be real. All these touches feel like sand, unstable and never stays. This sandcastle of words will be washed away by tomorrow. He will greet his love as a friend. He doesn’t want today to end with ribs full of roses.</p><p>“I don’t want to let go,” Jay whispered. The boy slowly pulls away, “I am sorry, Jay. Tomorrow exist. Hating you would be cruel. You need to stop counting on warm days for me, instead, look up and search for another star to look at. There are far brighter stars than me,” the boy assures Jay.<br/>
Jay inhaled and sighed. “Moving on takes time. But…” he grabbed the boy's hand and put it on his own heart. “As long as blood flows in me, I will try and stop loving you. When I look up to the sky I will search for brighter stars but I will definitely stares at you a little longer. I will remember you as my warm night,” Jay let go of their hands.</p><p>“As for now, I can only imagine you as s warrior that loves me unconditionally. You are my knight and prince. You will be in my fantasy. You will be my fairy tale,” Jay says pathetically.<br/>
The boy stood up, “Dreams blinds you from reality, Jay. I am not your prince. I am not your knight. I am not your warm night, Jay,” the boy started to walk away.<br/>
“Good morning, Jay, my friend,”</p><p>And by his last sentence, he disappears. Jay stayed in his seat, looking up. There’s no stars except one. The nights become warmer and his cheeks become wetter.<br/>
Only the Moon sympathies the now crying boy by hiding behind the clouds as rain fell and the night become the coldest night he ever felt.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading and leave kudos if you want!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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